The Heart Wants What It Wants

Lately, there's been a bit of drama around my house. Much of the drama has been the sort that stems from matters of the heart. My oldest daughter has a boyfriend who moved to a nearby town. They are unable to see each other very often and this causes problems within their relationship. It also affects her relationships with her friends. One friend decided that she liked my girl's out of town boy so much, she thought she deserved a chance at him. This did not go over well with my girl. She has never been much of a fan of sharing.

You know, sharing is a strange concept, when you really think about it. When my kids were little, I would tell them to share - share with their siblings, share with their friends, share with their schoolmates. Adults don't have to share. If you go out and purchase a new car, do you have to share it when your friends admire it? Do you have to hand over the key to "give them a turn." Heck no.

I had a neighbor who used to borrow my plunger and I have to tell you, sharing your plunger is gross. I never knew how to say, no, please go purchase your own. Oh, icky. I can't even think about that anymore.

Okay, where was I.......... oh yeah, matters of the heart...........

I'm ready for the sad to be over. I want to feel happy again. I want to feel like I'm in charge of my own destiny - I want life to be like that Incubus song, I want to "take the wheel and drive." Every day I can feel that wheel firmer and more responsive in my hand. I have spent the past 3 weeks in a state of flux. I'm fluxxed out. There's certain people I'd like to tell to flux off. (Okay I'm losing it, that happens sometimes. My dorky jokes don't sound as lame when I say them out loud and with the appropriate facial expression).

Bailey just came in crying. Things are getting out of hand with her boy's parents. Our kids are teenagers. Teenagers are curious about some things and we can't control them or stop them from growing up. It's scary, terrifying really, but it's the way that it goes. I will try to keep a level head and respect the choices that other people have made for their children, but sometimes it's hard. When it makes Bay cry, it's really hard. I'd rather see her laugh.