Lessons

Karlee caught this Dragonfly in her net today. Duncan, a neighbor boy, brought it over to show Sarah. For some reason, Sarah snapped something cranky about Karlee. I explained that she only wanted the boys to show her the Dragonfly, that they were being careful with it (and they really were, Duncan was very gentle with it as I took my photos). I spoke with Sarah about it some more, then she got angry (I think she was embarrassed) and she ran in her room and slammed the door.

When Sarah does something wrong, she will come up with 3 or 4 reasons why she was NOT wrong, why the action she performed was deserved. I don't appreciate that. I want her to listen to what I have to say and incorporate it into her life. So many times the kids won't take my word for it, they insist on learning on their own. I can't force a lesson, it has to just lay upon them gently.

I had a similar situation with Bay today. She told me about something upsetting that happened last night. I listened calmly. I asked questions when she was done. I think we got it settled, but with Bay it's hard to know. I have to try to take her at her word. It's hard. I'm not good with forced lessons either.

So much of being a mom is a mystery to me. I've been a parent for almost 18 years now and I'm still surprised by some of the issues that come up. I think I know my kids, but then I find out that I don't know them as well as I thought that I did.

I'm trying to be less rigid with the people that I love. Some of them have problems that I cannot understand. I can research their issues, read about how they can be managed, but they are not MY issues, they aren't in my head, in my daily everything. Some people don't want you to fix them or to help them. Some people just want your love and your patience. Unfortunately, patience is my biggest challenge. I hope that they can learn to be less rigid with me, as well. I'm a work in progress. Hopefully I'll get more "right" as time continues.