Monday, April 20, 2009

I'm All Over It

I went on a hike with Mom and Sarah this weekend. Don't they look cute? It was so warm on Saturday. Mom brought us Capri Suns and when we got to the top, I felt sick to my stomach. I don't think that Pop Tarts make an adequate pre-hike meal. I guess that's the reason I don't buy them more than once or twice a year. That's just often enough to really appreciate the treat-feel of them.

I had so much on my mind this weekend and the best place to go when I'm feeling like that is up the hill. I heard from my ex's ex and apparently she was never an ex at all. I feel bad, not because I still want him, because in no way do I ever want that again, but I feel bad that I was put in the place of The Other Woman. That sucks. I would not do something like that. Never. Or maybe we were both The Other Woman. Either way it sucks.

I got a couple of messages from her, one was a comment on a blog entry. She seems really nice and he always said negative things about her. I feel like I chose not to see so many early warning signs. For example there's this - if your exes hate you, it's probably for a reason. I did not hate any of my exes, including my ex-husband, until now. I felt, with them (including him when we were kids) that we grew apart. It was painful at the time, but it was just a natural thing, a sort of progression. This thing with him, it was a deliberate plan to get away with something horrible and deceitful. He is not a good person.

After hearing from her, I was really doubting myself and my ability to see people clearly. I think of myself as a good judge of character. I could not have been more wrong. When I think that he actually used Depression as an excuse for disappearing it makes me sick. I was so worried about him.

I refuse to spend another moment thinking about him and his BS. He is a fraud. I don't have time for frauds.

Here are a few of the things that I do have time for:

*My family
*My Mark
*My friends
*My work
*My camera
*My running
*My hikes
*Okay, really Mark should be on that list a few more times.

I'm hoping to go to lunch with Leah this week. We are going to meet at a Tea place. They have smoothie drinks made of tea. Yum. I'm trying to figure out how to make one for the Food/Nutrition blog. Anyone know any good tea-type smoothie recipes?

That reminds me....... I'm doing another pistachio giveaway. These pistachios were not involved in the recall. I don't have the link, but if you'd like to enter for a chance to win five 16-oz bags of Pistachios go to Blisstree and look under the Food/Nutrition section. Leave a comment on the "Healthy Snacks" post. I'll pick a random winner at the end of the week.

I feel like I've finally got myself back. I was mistaken, but I'm not going to change who I am because of it. I still have to live a life that I can be proud of. I want my kids to be proud of me. I want to be a good example. I'm on my way again - not perfect, but working at doing my best.

Okay, time for bed. Good night/morning/day to you.


Anonymous said...

When my daughter recently ended her engagement, she said that it made her doubt her judgment. I told her that it shouldn't as she didn't get married..It takes time to get to know what another person is really like....

♥~♥ Tracey ♥~♥ said...

Don't doubt yourself. He was out to deceive you. Ass.

Askew To You said...

Thanks ladies. I'll never understand how it could happen, how someone could do something like that. From this day on, I'm done. No more thoughts of that particular time. None.