It's a Good, Good Day.......

Just a quick note.... I am having a really great day. Mom brought me by some bush beans for my garden and my neighbor upstairs gave me some tomato plants last night. It's not raining, sun is shining. I think I'm going to split my day between inside and outside chores. Not, oh-man-I've-chores type chores, but I'm glad-I'm-getting-this-done stuff.  I hope that you have a wonderful day!!

One last thing..... Don't forget to enter my skin care giveaway at Girl Looks Swell!

Morning Mammogram

I spent the morning with Mom. First, she got a mammogram, while I waited in the lobby, then she brought me back with her so that she could get an ultrasound. I'm happy to say that both tests were clear. No mass.


The tests were scheduled because both Mom and her doctor found a questionable lump in her right breast. I was scared. She called me last night, told me about the appointment and said, no, she did not need me to go with her. I thought about it and figured yes, she did, but she didn't feel comfortable saying that. So, I got up, got the kids off to school and went to meet her.


While I was there, ladies came in and ladies left. They walked in looking drawn and stressed, faces pale and tight. One woman had her husband with her. Her hair was wet when we got there, her hair was still wet when she left. The process of getting a mammogram apparently does not take very long.

I haven't had a mammogram yet. I am 43 and I need to get one. Both my grandma and my great grandma had breast cancer. Mom kept saying, "In our family, the women get it later in life." My mom is 64. She's nearing that "later in life," part of her life. I suspect that she's like me and a portion of her thoughts will always belong to a 20-something girl, part will never accept things like the passage of time and the accumulation of quite a few years.

I took part in the Facebook bra color meme. I read afterward that some people were offended or repulsed or felt that it was without any sort of merit or purpose. I call BS. If it reminds one woman to do her self check and she then finds something that needs to be taken care of, then how can it be pointless? I did the first self-check that I've done in way too long after posting my update of "black." It's not about the bra be it black, white, or nude. It's not about sharing some titillating secret, (ooh, lingerie!). It's about what is in the bra, the tissue, the glands, the body of the woman and her continuing good health.

People confuse me. I'm not 100% right on target, but my intentions are good. I expect other people to be the same way, I assume they are good (which means I make an ass out of you and me, as the saying goes). That may mean I'm gullible, but I've got to believe that people are open-minded and open-hearted. I have to.

I know some people who keep constant score and baby, that's only going to hurt you in the long run. Let it go. Let life flow and remember that the good stuff is made up of what is truly important; health, happiness, love, and hope. Stop looking for the negative. If you look hard enough, examine deep enough, you'll talk yourself into seeing it everywhere.

Today is good. Especially after a piece of pumpkin loaf and a clean bill of health.

I Am A Mom First

I had a great evening with my kids last night. We watched movies and laughed. At bed time it occurred to me that I've been wrong-headed about my life lately. I've been focusing on things that don't matter. Somehow I got off-track.


On New Years eve, I was having so much fun with Mom and Sarah. We were laughing and drinking a couple of champagne cocktails (Sarah skipped those, of course) when a friend called and said something about the time and I was way off. I hadn't paid attention to the clock - I was in the minute, not watching the passage of it. He called me a dumb ass and I was both embarrassed and confused by this, although at the time I laughed. What else could I do? Was he joking? I'm not good with that sort of thing any more. I have trouble making the distinction between harmless and mean.


This is the sort of thing that I don't want to focus on anymore. And if you are reading this and you are thinking, well she's written this very poorly or she's got some detail wrong, then you are probably right, so you can hold on to that. I know it's important to some people to be right no matter what. I'm going to be wrong or mistaken and not worry about winning arguments. I don't enjoy arguing anyway.


I want to live my life with the people that I can trust and count on. If you don't like me, move on. I am not everybody's cup of tea.

From here on, it's back to being Mom-first. I believe that a man sees himself in relation to his job and a woman sees herself in relation to her home. I want to make my home and my family's home life rich with love and joy.


I believe that by living a life that I can be proud of, by doing my jobs and respecting myself and those that I care about, the rest will fall into place. I will walk the talk, I will do my best to be a good person, someone that my children look up to.

I'm All Over It

I went on a hike with Mom and Sarah this weekend. Don't they look cute? It was so warm on Saturday. Mom brought us Capri Suns and when we got to the top, I felt sick to my stomach. I don't think that Pop Tarts make an adequate pre-hike meal. I guess that's the reason I don't buy them more than once or twice a year. That's just often enough to really appreciate the treat-feel of them.

I had so much on my mind this weekend and the best place to go when I'm feeling like that is up the hill. I heard from my ex's ex and apparently she was never an ex at all. I feel bad, not because I still want him, because in no way do I ever want that again, but I feel bad that I was put in the place of The Other Woman. That sucks. I would not do something like that. Never. Or maybe we were both The Other Woman. Either way it sucks.

I got a couple of messages from her, one was a comment on a blog entry. She seems really nice and he always said negative things about her. I feel like I chose not to see so many early warning signs. For example there's this - if your exes hate you, it's probably for a reason. I did not hate any of my exes, including my ex-husband, until now. I felt, with them (including him when we were kids) that we grew apart. It was painful at the time, but it was just a natural thing, a sort of progression. This thing with him, it was a deliberate plan to get away with something horrible and deceitful. He is not a good person.

After hearing from her, I was really doubting myself and my ability to see people clearly. I think of myself as a good judge of character. I could not have been more wrong. When I think that he actually used Depression as an excuse for disappearing it makes me sick. I was so worried about him.

I refuse to spend another moment thinking about him and his BS. He is a fraud. I don't have time for frauds.

Here are a few of the things that I do have time for:

*My family
*My Mark
*My friends
*My work
*My camera
*My running
*My hikes
*Okay, really Mark should be on that list a few more times.


I'm hoping to go to lunch with Leah this week. We are going to meet at a Tea place. They have smoothie drinks made of tea. Yum. I'm trying to figure out how to make one for the Food/Nutrition blog. Anyone know any good tea-type smoothie recipes?

That reminds me....... I'm doing another pistachio giveaway. These pistachios were not involved in the recall. I don't have the link, but if you'd like to enter for a chance to win five 16-oz bags of Pistachios go to Blisstree and look under the Food/Nutrition section. Leave a comment on the "Healthy Snacks" post. I'll pick a random winner at the end of the week.

I feel like I've finally got myself back. I was mistaken, but I'm not going to change who I am because of it. I still have to live a life that I can be proud of. I want my kids to be proud of me. I want to be a good example. I'm on my way again - not perfect, but working at doing my best.

Okay, time for bed. Good night/morning/day to you.

Speedy Weekend

This was a super speedy weekend.

Friday night, Max started throwing up. The teenagers were bickery until late, which stressed me out and kept me up. I finally fell asleep, then Max started throwing up around 3am - okay, I guess that makes it Saturday officially - and I had to change all his bedding. I went back to bed and read Revolutionary Road until I fell asleep. Sarah woke up early and ........well I gave up and got out of bed.

Mom took Sarah to basketball, along with her friend Kayla, and they came home very excited. Mom said that it was one of the most thrilling things that she had ever watched. Really, watching these girls get out there and get after that ball, it really is thrilling. She was still talking about it today.

Mom stayed to dinner and we watched "Nancy Drew," with Emily Roberts. I fell asleep during the movie and woke up crabby. Put everyone to bed, woke up early again. Sarah went to a movie with Kayla's family. I got brunch for me and the teenagers. Max appeared about 90% recovered. (yea!!!!) Sarah came home. We watched tv and I took the teenagers down to work out at the gym. We came home, ate dinner, and then I cut Greg's hair.

That was my weekend. I worked in between doing things. Oh, and I put up a personal ad for my mom. She came over with the cutest new 'do. She had highlights and a great cut, so I had to take her photo. Lets see if I can add that photo on here. Okay, as you can probably tell, it's at the top. I can't control where it goes in this writing box. Kind of frustating. She looks cute, though, doesn't she? :D

Tea Party

Today, I had the opportunity to spend some time at two different school events. The first was the 2nd Annual tea at my son, Max's school. The second was the carnival at Sarah and my school. I'll tell you about the carnival tomorrow - not enough room for pictures of both.

This is the gym at Max's school - the location of the tea party. Everyone wore hats. Well, everyone but Mom and me. Next year, we'll wear them. Mom is in the middle of this photo, next to Max's teacher, Jill. She's a great teacher. She's the one who got the kids into the Special Olympics. The tent, that's where the tea was stationed. The placemats, they are the artwork of the children. We got to take one home.
This is Mom and Max. The picture is not clear, because I had to crop it from a wider shot. Can you tell how much they love each other?
This is teacher Jill and Max. He's still trying to see Grandma. :D

Here's some of the goodies. We had brownies, cookies, little pigs in blankets, pinwheel sandwiches, tea, and coffee. There was a beautiful fruit salad. All the ladies from Max's class they really enjoyed putting on the event, it was obvious. We chatted with one of the aids (I forget her name, very embarrassing) and she told me that she liked to see what Max is dressed in each day and that she felt an affinity with my family because our kids are around the same age. She was a nice lady, she mentioned angels and God. I've noticed over the years that people who are spiritual are very interested in Max. I don't have a problem with it, it's just something that I've taken note of. I'm not sure of Max's opinions on religion. I think if anything he worships trees. That kid loves trees.
I enjoy visiting Max's school, but it's also a reminder of how delicate he is. He's now one of the oldest kids in that school. He's been going there since he was 2. So much has changed since then.

It's hard to explain what raising Max is like. It's honestly a privilege, but it's also a challenge. I worry about him every day and not in the same way that I worry about the girls. I worry about his breathing and his eating and his slowly twisting body. He turns 18 in a few weeks. Okay, I'm not sure where I'm going with this, but I'm getting too emotional to explain anymore right now. Thinking about my son's mortality every single day, it's not easy.

Thanks for reading and I wish you a good day.

Oh, and here's a shot of some candy.

Friday at the Fountain

This evening, Mom and I took the kids - Sarah, Trinity, Chance, and Casey - down to the concert in the park. A country band was playing and I thought that there were very good, but for some reason, the kids didn't really get into it. I kept trying to get them to go into the fountain. Finally, the girls and Case tried it. Trin had the funniest look on her face, I kept trying to catch it, but she was tricky. Her dimples, always her dimples show. So sweet.
The City Plaza used to look very different. It had tall trees and a diamond-pattern walkway. It would be packed for the friday concerts. This time, the park was not even a quarter full. You can see a bit of what the park used to look like here http://www.homeschico.com/Chico/park%20downtown%202.jpg
This little guy looks like he's boxing the water.
Sarah looks so funny here - very Sarah-like expression here. :D Casey looks like he's freezing.

I took some photos of the Chico State Campus, too, but I'll post them another time.

Mom's Garden

Today I went over to Mom's house to pick her up for dinner. I wanted to take some photos for her to share with her cousin, Pam. I'm a dork. I'm still learning my camera. Much of it was not in focus. I was disappointed, because I had to dump a lot of pictures. Now I know I have two places to focus. Oops.

Anyway, here's what I got..........Mom working in the garden. These are a couple of mini rose bushes.
I was with Mom when she found this Japanese Maple at Costco. It's lovely, very fringe-y.
Here's another Japanese Maple. Mom lived with me for a bit and at that time we had 3 large-ish Maples on my little patio. It looked pretty cool, but it gets way too hot out there later in the Summer. Mom's yard is sheltered by a lot of large trees. There are Redwoods and Oaks - it's really very pretty and lucky to find in a rental. The squirrels love it back there.
This Gardenia was huge. Mom cut it way back and it's waking up again. Gardenias always make me think of Grandma Artie. She grew Gardenias in her "tropical" garden, the one I mentioned yesterday. I'm going to se if I can scan some pictures to show how pretty that yard was. They used to entertain there all the time. They had Luaus and family reunions and there was dancing. So much fun.