I Love the Shutter Sisters

I'm a little behind in so many ways. One of the things I've been missing is regular Shutter Sister's posts. I remember when I first found the Shutter Sisters blog. They post a short inspirational couple of paragraphs, then invite readers to share their own work in response to the post. Each post teaches a little about photograph or some personal insight or how it feels to be a woman looking at the world through your lens. I love the blog.


Here's a recent quote....

What happens when you choose once and for all to put what matters to you in the viewfinder, regardless of who approves or understands?

What happens when you claim your craft, your art, your expertise and stop asking anyone more established or proficient or experienced to say it's good enough?

What happens when you throw away the rule book and all the measuring sticks and just say what you were afraid to say all along?

Sometimes, I find it hard to feel that my shots are good enough. I always wish there was just a bit more sharpness and I don't know if it's because of my middle age eyesight or my starter-girl camera - is it my lack of skill or my equipment?? More importantly, why do I worry about it? Whom am I comparing myself to and what is the point? I shot what I see - my photos say what I want them to say. And sometimes I catch something and I think, holy crap, I did it! Few endeavors have given me as much joy as photography has and I'm learning all the time. Maybe someday I'll be able to capture that sharpness that I'm looking for - I know that I will never stop trying.

Another Shutter Sisters post was from a man who described a trip where a whole group of photographers were focused on a single view - a lake at sunrise. He shot the lake, but there was a ripple that ruined the glassy-mirror look and he decided to turn his camera to other things - colorful leaves and frost. He said that the other photographers looked at him as if they didn't understand what he was doing.

I connected to this post because I like to try to see some new detail with my camera. I shot things that other people say "eww" about - spiders, insects, webs - and I like to get down low, all the way, laying on my belly, trying to catch the edge of grass, leaves, whatever as I shoot. I will be the first to admit that I don't technically know what I'm doing, but getting low, shooting the details, it's teaching me how to focus and how to use the light, how to compose a shot in a way that isn't traditional or expected. It's a lot of fun and that's why I pick up the camera in the first place.

Spiders and Leaves

Some early signs of Fall on my patio....... I got my new macro lens on Friday and I started searching out bugs. I got a few spiders, but what I'd really like to find now is that Praying Mantis. I'd love to get a good shot of him for my mom. She loves those Praying Mantis.

This one was so close. If only the cup was clearer and the spider was just a little further down. That spider was never motionless, just here, there, here, there. Busy guy (or girl). I like how the words look.

Here he is underneath. He came back out today and I shot a bunch looking down at him. He has some interesting coloring and his body is sort of wrinkly. Mom pointed out that he looked old. He did. I wonder how long spiders live? I should look that up.

I love my new lens. Thanks eBay!!

Kids and Cameras

I'm watching Max sleep right now. He keeps jumping slightly, as if startled. It's like he's dreaming that he's falling, but he doesn't walk, so what would he be falling from? I carry him, but I've never dropped him. It's perplexing me. I walked over and looked at him. He seemed peaceful, then it started over again.

I got a call from school today. They wanted me to come look at him, because his coloring was off. I changed my clothes, brushed my teeth, and called them back. He was fine. His color is always off right atfter a seizure - he looks very pale, but he recovers quickly.

Every year, when school restarts, he scares them all over again. He has gone to the same school since he was 3, almost 16 years, and it's always the same. I love his school and I love that they care about him, but he's the same kid he's always been. He is scary, but not scarier.

Sarah started volleyball today. She was loving her practice. It's set up a bit differently from the basketball league - the girls were all mixed around, the terms were shuffled. In basketball, all but a few girls had been playing together for years and they attended the same school. It was hard for Sarah to mesh, but she still had fun. This time, at volleyball, she made a friend during the very first practice. It occurred to me that it was like she was playing with a group of girls who were just like her - an entire team of Sarahs. If you knew Sarah, then you'd get how cool that is. She's frequently the unique kid. Volleyball is wonderful.

Bay and I went out to lunch today. At the Tin Roof Bakery and Cafe. I loved it. All that bread. Beautiful. Bay and I do enjoy lunching out. I told her about working at Denny's when I was 18. I used to look at the ladies in the restaurant and think, someday I'd like to be a lady who lunched. She laughed, but I could tell that she knew what I meant. She's a lady who appreciates lunching, as well.

Mom sent me an email today saying that one of her friends wants me to photograph her family. I am so excited!! I love doing families. Also, I'm going to be shooting some of the group home kids for their Senior Portraits. Also fun. She asked about pet photos, would I be interested in taking them. Yes, of course. I shoot kitty whenever possible. And here's one last thing, my beautiful sister-in-law, Shawna, has agreed to let me take her photo for the Pin Up shots. So much good news.

I need to do some shots with both cameras to figure out which one will work best. I'm so much more comfortable with the Nikon. It fits in my hand perfectly, I love the lens, how smooth it feels when I adjust it. I wish I wasn't so resistant to the Canon. It's a great camera, too. It's just not my beautiful Nikon. I don't think I'll ever love a camera the way that I love that one. (Wow, I'm really a dork about that camera.)

That is all. Happy day to you!

Field Trip With Bailey

Bay gets a few minimum days a semester. We've started a tradition - if you can call two times a tradition - of grabbing the cameras and taking photos at the park. I'm mentioned before that Bay has a great eye. We will shoot the same subjects and come up with totally different shots. I wish I had a touch more of her creativity.

We get along so well when we are out there together. We share the two cameras - a Nikon D40 and a Canon Rebel - switching out our memory cards. She prefers the Canon and I am trying to love it, but I think that using the Nikon first, learning on it, has marked me as a Nikon lover. I do not love that Canon.

I dream of a fanicer Nikon......... or maybe I just have developed a taste for cameras the same way that many women have a taste for shoes. I mean, I want old cameras, too, not just expensive cameras. I love to hunt for them in second hand shops. I love to imagine what they must have shot in the past. I love the way my Duraflex looks - I'd love to try to shoot with it as a camera-camera and not just a lens for TTV.

Bay just called from school - she's sick, I can hear it in her voice. So, I've got to make this fast. She is supposed to be leaving with Mom, Greg, and Sarah for Pismo Beach time with Robin's family, but she told me this morning that she did not know if she could make it. She's got to be sick if she will willingly miss out on that. She loves the beach and she loves her Robbie.

I'm using this one as my Facebook icon. My sister remarked that we look alike here. I'll take it - Bay is a beauty and I'd love to look even a little bit like her.

Okay, running off to pick her up........... Happy day to you!

Sunday

I have so much on my mind today. My stimulus check should come some time in the next week or so. I've thought long and hard about what I want to spend it on. I worry that my biggest purchase - a good camera - is really not a wise use of my money. I want to be able to use the camera to make money, but now I'm worried that I'm fooling myself with that idea.

Is that an unrealistic dream? I don't need to make a lot of money, just some extra. I'd like to take pictures of kids and weddings and family and friends and nature. I'd like to capture something and give it to someone and have them say, wow, thanks, that's just what I've been wishing for.

I'm going to use some of the money on the girls, but there are so many things that they need. They need Summer clothes and in 2 and a half months, they are going to need school clothes. Sarah wants to go to day camp. I need to be able to drive them up and down the state for family visits and I want to get Bay something special for her 16th birthday, but honestly, there's only so much money that is going to be available.

I'm really stressing how I'm going to pay for everything that needs paying for. How am I going to be able to see Steve? He lives 6 hours away and neither one of us can afford the gas for that trip. I miss him and things have been so weird and wonky between us for the past couple of months. It would be good to be together and really see if those feelings are still there between us. I feel different, but I suspect that much of that is due to self-preservation.

Bay and I have been getting along a little better this weekend. It started with the game, she was so good-Bailey at the game. She is quite funny and charming when she wants to be. And beautiful. Look at her in this picture.

Sometimes I wonder how Todd and I made a girl so pretty. We are so average, which is fine, I have no problem with being average, but she's like a sum of all our a little above average parts. Luckily.

The weather this weekend is lovely - warm and breezy and comfortable. I've spent too much of it inside, on this couch, trying to figure out how I'm going to pay for everything. I wish I could go back to Friday nights ballgame and relive the whole thing over again, not wasting any time with worry. Worry never solved a thing.

Before the end of the day, Sarah and I are going to pack her bag for her Girl Scout camping trip - the June Jamboree. Tomorrow is her last official meeting and they are checking gear for the trip on the 6th. Camp. I wish I was going. I love to camp.

I wish I had time for a nap. Or maybe I should take a worry-break and read.......... before I know it, it's going to be bedtime and the weekend will be over.