Out of Balance

I believe that my purpose in life is to find balance. Balance in work. Balance in family. Balance in leisure.  It sounds simple, but it's not. I'm always thinking, always brainstorming ways to find more balance. Sometimes I find it for a temporary amount of time and it's pure bliss. The trick is to find out how to stretch that bliss, lengthen it, draw it out... but maybe that is selfish of me?  Can I be hoping for too much bliss?  Am I too bliss-centric?  See how my brain works?  It's a crazy place at times - I think too much. 

         An example of leisure.... Rode in a biking event with my friend, Angela... Check out that chin of mine...

Here are the areas that I need to work on:

*More money - not for extravagant things, but for necessities
*More time for family
*More order within my home

And I'd like to enjoy what I'm doing when I make the money. I enjoy my work at the store, but it frequently takes me completely out of my family. I work late a lot. John works early. When I get home, he's already asleep. Sometimes he wakes up and he tells me how poorly things played out between he and Sarah that evening. She is 13 and really into testing her new stepdad. I feel guilty that the bulk of the parenting is falling to him lately.

John and I have different parenting styles. He focuses on chores. I focus on growth. He wants things done. I want them done smoothly. He thinks his way is right. I think my way is right. I don't know how he would have handled the years when my oldest daughter was so out-of-control.  There was no talking sense with her. It was maddening and I can remember thinking that I would be alone forever because no man could take that on. Okay, so John came along after that time.... now we've got a new teenager to figure out.... it's always something and it's all about.... growth. :) See, I am right! 

I am thinking about a career change. I look at the schedule every week and I see that very few people are getting enough hours to live on and for some reason, new people are continually hired. Hey, I'd take a few courtesy clerk spots - I have no problem with that work. I find retail hard to figure out. Many aspects appear counter-productive to me, but that's just the way they do them.  The work force is determined by the money made previously. So, if there is a period of slower sales, then fewer people are scheduled, but if there are not enough people scheduled, things go a bit chaotic and we can potentially lose customers.

An example would be the milk. A dairy clerk is scheduled, but he is constantly called up front, away from the milk, because there are more than 2 people in a line and the people up front start bugging out. When the milk clerk is gone, people continue to pull dairy goods off the shelf, which means the shelves empty. Where is all the yogurt?  I can't find my favorite creamer! Ack!!  Let the dairy clerk do their thing. Have an extra clerk up front - maybe they could be a combo courtesy clerk/checker - I've done that before and it worked well. I was available to get people out for their breaks, etc.

Okay, enough retail talk. I've been thinking a lot about sewing. I've got a machine. Just wish I could remember how to thread the bobbin.... more on this later.  I spent last night looking at places like this. If you know of a good sewing blog, please recommend it in the comments.

Hey, do you know anyone who could use a puppy?  Not this one, because we are keeping her, but one equally as cute...

Monday Sucks Sometimes

I woke up feeling all excited about the bliss, but then real life hit and I got off track. Some days suck. Really suck. Today was one of them.

I basically hid out in my room, getting my work done, writing, sending out a request for new products to review, which helped a lot. I took a few pictures of a new body spray that arrived - they sent it with little shells, the box had all these stickers saying it was from France all over it. I used the shells in a few shots and at least ended up with one photo for my 365 project. Not a great photo, but at least I'm getting back on track.

Now it's the end of the day, I have my run in, I'm watching The Bachelorette long distance with my sister and I made it through one more day. Tomorrow will be better.  I can't get where I'm going all in one day.

Follow Your Bliss

I just had an epiphany of sorts. You know that saying, "Follow your bliss"? Well, I was reading an interview over at Shutter Sisters.com and the following quote from Joseph Campbell was mentioned:

If you follow your bliss, you put yourself on a kind of track that has been there all the while, waiting for you, and the life that you ought to be living is the one you are living. Wherever you are -- if you are following your bliss, you are enjoying that refreshment, that life within you, all the time.

I looked up Joseph Campbell, to find the whole quote and that's when I found the Joseph Campbell Foundation. Joseph Campbell sounds fascinating. Bill Moyers did a series of interviews with him and here's a short excerpt:

BILL MOYERS: Do you ever have the sense of... being helped by hidden hands?

JOSEPH CAMPBELL: All the time. It is miraculous. I even have a superstition that has grown on me as a result of invisible hands coming all the time - namely, that if you do follow your bliss you put yourself on a kind of track that has been there all the while, waiting for you, and the life that you ought to be living is the one you are living. When you can see that, you begin to meet people who are in your field of bliss, and they open doors to you. I say, follow your bliss and don't be afraid, and doors will open where you didn't know they were going to be.

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Holy cow!! The most blissful moments of my life have to do with my camera. I have felt so much fear and doubt in terms of what my limitations are - a general lack of talent and definitely knowledge (I know basically nothing), but I get so much joy from working with the camera and tinkering with the photos. I need to embrace the fear, just jump on in and get messy with it. This is my bliss. And heck yeah, I'm going to follow it.