I'm Home

WooHoo! I'm in!

I am embarrassed to admit this, but I'm going to go ahead and do it, just in case someone else has encountered the same problem - I forgot the email address I used to sign into this blog so I was locked out. I love this blog. I wrote about my old life in here, lots of adventures at the park with my kids and family, I found my love of photography here, I have posts that really mean something to me here, but I lost my way for a year or two and a half-ish. Now, I'd like to find my way back. I miss writing.

Here's what I've been up to, I'm in school again, although I dropped my one Summer session class today and I'm taking the Summer off of school. I am working as a merchandiser, but I also work for a temp agency which means I get to try lots of new jobs all the time. I live with a whole lot of dogs, my husband, and my youngest daughter, Sarah. 

This is my husband, John, holding two of our puppies and I'll slip Sarah in below....

This is Sarah, in my car, which is a place where we spend a lot of time, because I'm always driving her back and forth to town for some sporting event/practice/open gym. She's grown up a bit since you saw her last, I bet.

John and I have been busy in the garden (mostly him) and we are beekeeping (again, mostly him, although I go peek at those busy bees every once in awhile).  I would like to eventually use the bees as a money-maker for our family. I want to learn how to make skincare products with the honey.  I want to add more mint to my garden, because the mint honey is incredible, although blackberry honey will always be my favorite. Unless you have the bees in a large area of mint/blackberry/star thistle/etc, they honey is categorized Wildflower Honey, I believe. See one of the bees on my mother-in-law's leek flower below.

We spent part of the Spring learning how to train scent detection dogs. It was so much fun! Dogs love to sniff, as you may know, and they love treats, which is how you get them to sniff what you want them to sniff.

I haven't been running much, but I'm slowly starting back. Sarah and I took a puppy out for a long walk last night and I sprinted (if you can picture a turtle sprinting) a few times. I did have a 2 mile run the other night. I find it so hard to get a block of time free. That's honestly my biggest problem. I miss the days when I could jump on my treadmill. I'm also working  yoga back into my routine. I have an old friend that I follow on Facebook and he's turned yoga into his lifestyle. I love reading his posts and seeing his smiling photos. Yoga is good for the soul... and the aches and pains that come with middle-age.

Here's a close-up of those puppies.... dang they are cute!!

Right now, I'm waiting for John to get home so that I can go help him with a load of wood. In the meantime, I made up a batch of BBQ sauce from my canned tomatoes that I've got bubbling in the crockpot with some bear meatballs. Should be pretty good when we get home from woodcutting, if we ever get going.....

I think I'm going to start a new food blog. I will link back here, as soon as I get it up and running. Some other plans for Summer, I'm going to get my photography business (that I started way back when in Chico) going and I'm going to write a book. I have given myself until the end of December to have the book ready.  I haven't written anything more than a paper for school (or this blog post), in a long time. I hope I can remember how to do it.

Well, we are nearing the end of 2012 and I'm not sure what to make of the year. A little good, a little bad, a whole lot unexpected...

I'm working as a teacher's aide at our local elementary school and I love it. I'm heading back to college in about 3 weeks. I haven't taken a class in about 12 years, so it will be interesting trying to get into the groove of homework, etc again.

We are living in our 5th wheel still... no sign of a house in progress across the field, oh well, eventually we will get there. Right now our little home is leaking. Lots of rain and snow - I think we need a tarp or two to protect this place better. Today is the first day I've been able to have internet here. We picked up a little wifi device and are back in business. I do love technology.

My husband got me a Kindle for Christmas. I love it!  Sarah and I are busy with free books. Excellent. :)

Bay is supposed to be on her way here, but there might be a problem with the bus. I'm not sure exactly what's going on. They sold her a ticket online, but there's no way to pick it up?? Someday I will have things back in order with my family. It's my only regret about moving here - no easy access to family.

Well, it's time to get going on my Christmas dish. Happy Holidays to you!

Constant Change

In the months since Max died, I've been going through a time of constant change. New jobs, new relationships, new homes, new friends, new hobbies - my life, as it exists today, is something I never could have predicted.

I'm lucky, because I have a lot of good choices available to me. I sift through the choices - some work out, others do not. I try to remain flexible and I've simplified things to a point where I can live with a lot less money coming in. Sometimes something seems like a good idea or I make a choice, because to pass it up seems stupid. For example, I left the market and went to work at the center because it meant twice as much money. I wanted to save my minivan. Unfortunately, I am unhappy working there and I still can't save my minivan. So, I'm giving it up. More changes to come....

John drove me to work 3 times before he decided I needed a new vehicle asap. Thanks to a loan from my in-laws, I am now the proud owner of a 1992 F-150 pickup truck. Perfect for my life as a....  Landscape. Ta-da! I love that work. AND I'm going back to the market part time, because I loved that job. Bagging groceries - who knew how fun it could be. Good exercise, too.

It is important to me that I am not just making money, but enjoying my work, because I've found that when I'm miserable, I'm not that much fun to live with. There's a good amount of truth to the saying, When Momma ain't happy, ain't nobody happy.  I'm the one who makes the home and it's important to me to make it a happy one. Family is my focus.

On that note, check out my handsome grandson, Gavin P, who came to stay with me last weekend. He's a charmer and a half.

Gavin and his big blue eyes.

2010

I'm having a little trouble getting started with this one.... I have mixed feelings about 2010. It was such an up and down year for me and it's ending on a weird note for my family. I lost my boy this year and part of me wants to hold on to 2010, because it's the last year he saw. I don't know if that makes any sense at all.

I'm happy about my new life and I try to focus on the good stuff. I'm excited about Gavin's arrival and living here with John. I enjoy my job and soon Sarah's basketball season will be starting. I try to write about that stuff on Facebook - I want my focus to be on living a positive life. I have a lot to be grateful for, but one of my family members wrote something about how some people are pretending things are perfect or something like that and I suspect it was focused at me. My life isn't perfect. I don't pretend it's perfect. Who wants perfection?  Perfection is a scary thought to me - a sort of fate teaser. I just want to be happy and live I life I can feel proud of. 

All I can do is to keep working and taking care of my family to the best of my ability. 

Day After Santa Day

Merry day after Christmas.... How was your holiday?  Mine was good. I spent the majority of the day with John and my girls, but in the afternoon John's parents came over and had dinner with us. I tried a new recipe - Roast Beef with a Dijon/Horseradish Crust. Turned out pretty good - smelled great when it was cooking. (Hhmm, I think I'll make myself a sandwich in a minute....)

This was my first Christmas holiday spent with a partner in about 18 years. John is getting me a washing machine. I'm very practical, so that's my idea of a great gift. I just need to find one and he'll go get it. 

I gave him a haircut today and was worried that I cut the front too short, but then I ended up cutting the whole thing super-short and it turned out great. I've been cutting hair for years, since I was 14 and I was a hairdresser when I lived in Washington, but even so I'm not immune to distractions and a house full of kids and pets usually includes some distractions. It seems that the shorter his hair is, the younger he looks. I'll have to get a picture of him today... I think he looks beautiful.

Today is my second day off of work. My hours are super-light next week which is worrisome.  I'm a bit tired of being broke. I'd love to be able to go see a movie and pick up a pair of basketball shoes for Sarah. Time to look for a second job............

We have a new cat. Her name is Tinkerbell, but we'll call her Tink.

I Love Camping

The girls and I went bear hunting this weekend.

Well, I think it was bear hunting. There was a lot of talk of bear poop (full of berries), bear tracks (an area that looks like some body or some thing slid down the hill on it's bottom), and driving around packed into my boyfriend's truck (he's cute and charming, I enjoy being smooshed up next to him). The hounds took off a couple of times... have you ever heard them before? Sounds pretty. I didn't see any bears, but Bay might have. I enjoyed every minute of it.

We camped by a pretty creek, went to sleep listening to the sound of it every night. Saturday night we spread out on the road, flat on our backs, looking up at the stars. There were so many, more than I've ever seen before.

We ate clam dip and chips for breakfast one morning and hot dogs and marshmallows cooked over the fire for dinner.

We listened to my boyfriend tell stories and make up songs and point out places along the river where people planted pretty little pot gardens next to their vegetables and old rusted appliances.

It was so much fun. I can't wait to go again. I love camping.

A Family Reunion

I'm in the midst of an extended family reunion. I don't know if I've made this clear before, but I LOVE family and I LOVE family time. I have 6 nieces and nephews and anytime I can be with all of them at once, it's corny, I know, but it's truly bliss for me. They are all so cute and sweet in their individual ways. This Summer I get to spend time with an extra cute and sweet kid - my cousin Tristan. He's here with his mom, also my cousin, Teri, and our Grandma Artie.

Tristan and the kids are really hitting it off. Sarah loves hanging out with him - they enjoy a lot of the same things and she's enjoying getting to know someone who shares those interests (for example Greek Gods, she loves that stuff).

I've been taking some photos and not getting a whole lot of work done, but we've been eating pretty well. My brother made 3 differently marinated smoked tri tips last night. I can begin to explain how incredible they were. I have got to get a smoker.

In other news, I have a weekend trip planned. Next weekend I am going to see a man. Out of town. Without my kids. A grown up getaway. Yeah, I'm shocked, too.

Bliss at the Beach

How is your Summer going so far? Lots of fun around here. Max started Summer school, the weather has warmed up a bit, although still oddly cool for this time of year.

My sister's kids have been visiting this week. We are at the tale end of their visit - my sister arrives tomorrow and they are heading home at 5am on Sunday.

While they were here we did some really fun things - creek floating (my favorite), a visit to the National Yoyo Museum, a visit to the Bee and Honey exhibit at the local Chico Museum (not sure official name), a picnic at Wildwood Park, a walk through the California State University Chico campus, and lots and lots of time at the pool. Tonight the kids went with Grandma and Aunt Shawna to the Observatory.

When the kids are here, I usually get to see my brother's kids, too. The other day, I sat at the creek, surrounded by little people that I love. It was truly a moment of bliss. :)

I'm In Charge Here

I woke up feeling sort of blue this morning. Ugh. Enough of that.

I realize that my mood, my point of view, I'm in charge of it. If I don't want to feel sad, it's up to me to get my shit together and turn myself around.  It's that simple. Right?  Okay, not simple, but do-able.

I need to get my mind back to where I was a few years ago.  I had a good life and I was happy.  I was focused on my kids and my home. I was organized and on track. Then, I got a peek at something else and I went sort of nuts.

It's okay to dream, it's okay to work toward a goal, but it's also important to find peace and some sense of satisfaction in where you are.

It's the Mary Englebreit idea of  Bloom Where You Are Planted.

Here's how I plan to get back on track...

*Lay off the dating for awhile. Just put it on the shelf. If someone wonderful drops into my lap, okay, I'll go for it, but I'm not seeking it out for now.

*Pare down some of my writing projects. I'm going to focus on a few key blogs and step away from the rest. I've been freaking out about money since the end of Splendicity. It's been fairly terrifying. Time to stop scrambling. I will focus on marketing what I enjoy most.

*I'm going to get back to work on my book.

*I'm going to spend more time with my camera in my hand.

*I'm going to stop thinking about moving and instead make the place where I live, my home for 6 years now, feel like the place where I want to stay.

Okay, there are my goals. Do-able. All of them.  Happy days, here I come!!   Happy Mother's Day to you, if you are a mom. :)

Home Again

I am back home after spending the weekend with my sister's family in Southern California. I had a fun, but super-short trip. While I was there, I ran a 5K with my sister, well I walked part of it, I had the hardest time running and I shot some photos of the kids. Chance, above, is the boy walking along the creek in my header photo. He's about 3 and a half years older now.

I sat out back with Trinity and Casey for awhile. Casey used the camera to shoot the plants and later the dogs. It was fun to explain my limited knowledge of the camera to him. Casey had a basketball game and a baseball practice while I was there. That kid's body has changed so much since the Summer. He's grown solid and muscular.

I love his freckles.

Trin was climbing around the outdoor bar when I took this one. She had a bunch of those candy Valentines, the type with the packets of sugary candy and you stick a candle stick into them. Her eyes are the same color as Mom, Robin, Sarah, and me. We have Grandpa Harold's eyes. I miss my Grandpa.

I've got so much to do - work to catch up on, brunch to cook, unpacking...... I just want to be lazy and read my book, watch my Supernatural rerun. I need to get to the grocery store and stock up on vegetables, because we ate so much junk food while spending 12+ hours in the car. Chips, cornuts, Diet Coke, Diet Coke, Diet Coke.....ugh. I think I'm going to rest for just a little bit longer.

My Project

Max and I are still sick, so we missed my nephew's 2nd birthday. I am so sad about it. Sarah got to go with her Grandma and I took the picture (above) of her goodie sack stuff. I needed something to use for my 365 Project photo and I liked all the bright colors and the texture of the pink ball.

I'm really interested in the photos that are being posted to the project. Many of them seem family in theme. I see a lot of babies, kitties, meals, and coffee breaks. Sometimes people do really interesting self portraits. I love those. It's hard sometimes (most of the time) to be in front of the camera, much more comfortable behind it. My favorite self portrait was a shoulder and a bright bra strap. It sounds racy, but it was very pretty.

It's so much fun to get this peek into other people's lives. They are sharing a piece of themselves. A gift. I tell my friends about it and try to get them involved. It will be so much fun to see how our photography improves throughout the course of the year.

I think I've got Bay talked into it, too. She took some photos of her boyfriend PJ today. One of them was so sweet, it made me do this sort of breath-catch thing when she showed it to me. He has these big brown eyes and he's looking at her with so much love. So many times I try to catch something special with the camera. I think maybe I've got it, maybe this will be exactly what I'm trying to show, but then I look at what I've got and it's just not what I was trying to capture. I don't know what she was trying to show with this photo, but it's really something special. I hope she sees that.

I have some exciting news. Robin, my sister, and I are going to run a 10K together on the 13th of February,down in her hometown. This means that I get to see her whole family AND I get to have a fun adventure with one of my favorite people. We decided to do it last night, while we watched Philosophy on QVC, while texting. We've texted through a few shows. I was also eating dinner at this time. I was pretty proud of my multi-tasking abilities. I did it all, but I can't say that I did it well. :)

Here's a picture of Robin and I that used during retro week at Facebook. I'm the bigger little hippie kid.

Got the Yuckies

We are sick. Yuck.

First Max, then me, then Sari,........now Bay is feeling a bit down. We've been sick too much this Winter.

Spring? Please, please be a pal and come early this year...... I'll be your best friend!

Do you think that could work?

Morning Mammogram

I spent the morning with Mom. First, she got a mammogram, while I waited in the lobby, then she brought me back with her so that she could get an ultrasound. I'm happy to say that both tests were clear. No mass.


The tests were scheduled because both Mom and her doctor found a questionable lump in her right breast. I was scared. She called me last night, told me about the appointment and said, no, she did not need me to go with her. I thought about it and figured yes, she did, but she didn't feel comfortable saying that. So, I got up, got the kids off to school and went to meet her.


While I was there, ladies came in and ladies left. They walked in looking drawn and stressed, faces pale and tight. One woman had her husband with her. Her hair was wet when we got there, her hair was still wet when she left. The process of getting a mammogram apparently does not take very long.

I haven't had a mammogram yet. I am 43 and I need to get one. Both my grandma and my great grandma had breast cancer. Mom kept saying, "In our family, the women get it later in life." My mom is 64. She's nearing that "later in life," part of her life. I suspect that she's like me and a portion of her thoughts will always belong to a 20-something girl, part will never accept things like the passage of time and the accumulation of quite a few years.

I took part in the Facebook bra color meme. I read afterward that some people were offended or repulsed or felt that it was without any sort of merit or purpose. I call BS. If it reminds one woman to do her self check and she then finds something that needs to be taken care of, then how can it be pointless? I did the first self-check that I've done in way too long after posting my update of "black." It's not about the bra be it black, white, or nude. It's not about sharing some titillating secret, (ooh, lingerie!). It's about what is in the bra, the tissue, the glands, the body of the woman and her continuing good health.

People confuse me. I'm not 100% right on target, but my intentions are good. I expect other people to be the same way, I assume they are good (which means I make an ass out of you and me, as the saying goes). That may mean I'm gullible, but I've got to believe that people are open-minded and open-hearted. I have to.

I know some people who keep constant score and baby, that's only going to hurt you in the long run. Let it go. Let life flow and remember that the good stuff is made up of what is truly important; health, happiness, love, and hope. Stop looking for the negative. If you look hard enough, examine deep enough, you'll talk yourself into seeing it everywhere.

Today is good. Especially after a piece of pumpkin loaf and a clean bill of health.

Feeling Chatty....

I started my holiday baking last night. I made some combo chip cookies with semi-sweet, milk chocolate, white chips and coconut. They turned out good, but I've never met a chocolate chip cookie that I did not like. Sometimes I put a little bit of oats in them. I like a crisp cookie and both the browned coconut and oats really give a cookie great texture.

I made up sugar cookies with the cookie cutters that I got from Mom and Grandma. I love using their tools. My rolling pin used to be Great Grandma Halfhill's. I like feeling like they are somehow baking right alongside me. Most of my pans belonged to Grandma Halfhill, my strainer, my colander, all the things I use every day. I'd like to add to my pan collection, but I will always use these tools. I trust them.

I have a friend who uses his mother's baking table when he cooks. It's perfect - good height, good size, and you can see the marks she put into the table over the years as she prepared food for her family. What a treasure. He lost his mom way too early, but every meal he prepares, her hand is in it.

That table means a lot to him. I appreciate people who get things like that. New things are nice, but a little family history, there's nothing like it. I want to hand things down to my girls when they have their own families. I want Bailey to be able to grate cheese for tacos with Grandma's grater and Sarah to scoop ice cream with her wooden handle scoop. It might sound silly, but that's just me.

Baking, it really helped to regain my holiday spirit. I've still got a lot left to do - lacy almond cookies and some fudge. Maybe some chocolate krinkles for Mom. Tonight I'm going to make a quiche for dinner. I haven't made one of those in a long time. When I was a hairdresser, I'd take my tips upstairs where I'd pick up quiche and spinach salad for lunch. Yum. That reminds me......I think I need a bag of spinach. I'm going to finish my decorating and my wrapping. Okay, I'm going to start the wrapping - I have nothing under the tree so far. It's going to take me awhile. Good thing I've candy canes and cookies for energy.

Kitty scratched Sarah's face today. Sometimes she's mean and nasty. I try to get Sarah to understand that she can't have her face too close to her. I'm afraid that she's going to get her in the eye. I love my cat, but when she makes my girl cry, I feel like doing a Grandpa Harold, I feel like sending her sailing out the door (he chose the deck, flying kitty - don't worry, she always landed on her feet). I don't. I am gentle with her, but she's going to stay stuck in my bedroom for awhile today.

I'm done with my work-work for the day. Way early. Feels great. I may even get time to read today. Guess what? This was my 300th post. Wow.

Ruby Tuesday - Shawna's Party

Happy Ruby Tuesday! Here are some "ruby" photos from my sister-in-law, Shawna's birthday party. I'll share more photos later in a non-ruby post.

Here's Brandon's Caprese Salad. I have a recipe for the salad here. It's super easy - basically tomatoes, olive oil, basil, salt and pepper. Yum. Here is my gorgeous mom. Hi Mom!

And Hayden, my nephew. Look at that hair. It was sort of floating on the breeze. He is so cute.

See, what I mean? Look at that grin. Adorable.

We had a lot of fun at Shawna's party. She is a way better hostess than I will ever be. She does lots of fancy finger foods and cupcakes with edible glitter. She made sangria and appletinis. Yum.

For more Ruby Tuesday photos, check out The Work of The Poet.

TGIO - Thank Goodness It's Over

This post brought to you by Max's sweet little feet. How cute are they? He is the only teenage boy in the world who never has stinky feet. My weekend was.... on the exhausting side. I have some things to figure out, but I feel like it's going to work out okay. I am trying to keep a level head, think it through with my brain and not my heart. These are not always easy things for me to do. I'm a go-with-the-gut kind of girl. My gut is just saying, "Ouch. I hurt. Stop stressing."

I did a bunch of baking and cooking today. A lot of fun. I couldn't do my work for awhile, there was a problem with whatever allows us to put up photos. In the long run, it worked out well because I had time to do fun stuff. I made up a cookie recipe and a granola recipe. Both are good. I love granola. It's so pricey though. Have you ever noticed that?

I put some organic fertilizer out yesterday. It smelled like cow poop. The kind that I remember from when I was a kid and cows were still allowed to eat grass. These days, you drive by a stock yard and about pass out from the stench because they feed them things like rendered animals. It's not natural and the smell that comes out of them is the most basic proof of that. Poor cows.

We used to use cowpies for bases when we played kickball. The old dried out ones, not the warm and juicy ones. Eww. I can also remember my sister and I throwing it at each other.

That was so much fun, moving from the city to the country. Absolutely the very best decision my mom ever made. Thank you, Mom. I love you.

My beautiful sister got bit by a dog last night. On the face. Mom called and told me today and I'm afraid I fell apart. (I'm so sorry, Mom!!!). It happened when she was petting the dog and then she laughed. She thinks that she startled it. I kept picturing my beautiful sister laughing her wonderful laugh, her hand on the dog, and then the horror of the bite.

She had to have 14 stitches and 12 shots. She sent me a photo on the phone and it's on her chin, down below the corner of her mouth, a crescent shape of swollen stitches. Damn.

I usually do not say this, but I am very glad that this weekend is over. Now, I'm going to give Max his medicine. Goodnight.

Quick Saturday Catch-Up

It's been so long since I updated! I'm sorry. A lot has been going on. I'll start with yesterday and work my way back to last weekend...........

The Jogathon. Yesterday was the Jogathon at LCC. Look at those kids running! Sarah is in the pink t-shirt. I got a lot of fun photos. I usually volunteer, but this time I wandered around with my camera. Sarah enjoyed the event so much this year. She ran quite a bit of it, which was exciting to see. When she walked, she walked with her friend Karli. She had a big smile the whole time. Yay!

Sarah's birthday was Thursday. She is now 11. Her she is jumping for joy - WooHoo!! Cousins Ashlee, Brad, Hayden, Aunt Shawna, and Grandma came by and we did bubbles, played on the playground. Good day.

Check out this bubble. It's a good one.

The teenagers had prom last weekend. They had a wonderful time and spent a whole lot of money. Prom is complicated these days. There's so much they have to buy. I remember when I went, I borrowed a dress, we borrowed a car. The kids were so stressed out.

Bay wore a cute short dress and tall heels. She was almost as tall as Greg with her updo and her heels and he's 6 ft. Very glamorous. Greg seemed very comfortable in his tux. I like he liked the fanciness of it all. I drove him over to meet the other couples at his friend Deborah's house. I got this shot as they were walking out into the backyard for pictures.

The sun was so bright and they were squinting in every shot. I wish I had not been so shy in front of all the other parents, that I had pulled them off to the side, because with the expense of all the extras, they didn't end up with enough to buy pictures at the event.

Don't you think that they look pretty? Bay's hair looked just as great the next morning. It was set up with about 55 bobby pins. It was lovely.

Okay, that's it for now. I've got something very exciting to write about later in the week. My boyfriend is coming for a visit. I cannot tell you how excited I am. I'm afraid that I'm going to drive that boy crazy with my camera. Watch out, honey!

Kitty In A Box

I had to show you this before I went to bed. I looked at the box sitting next to me and look who is in there...... Kitty. Earlier, Sarah found her in the box and she brought her out to the living room. She left the box on the couch and apparently it's one of her new favorite places. She fits into the tiniest spots. There's this area in Bay's closet and it's about the size of a shoe box. She climbs in there at least once a day. You can't even see her at first.

She likes to sit on the towel shelf while Bay showers. Bay says that she mouths, "Help me, help me..." to Kitty when she is in there and Kitty looks all concerned. What a personality this cat has.

I told Jackie today, I said, they've only been with a few months, but I cannot remember what it was like to not have Greg and Kitty as part of our family.