Father & Mother

Yesterday was Bay's birthday. She is now 19. It is the first time we have not spent her birthday together. I guess that's how it goes when your kids grow up and become mommies and you move away and get married to your best pal.

Bay wrote something on her Facebook wall about her stepdad remembering her birthday and her father forgetting. That man continues to be a disappointment to our children. I usually say he has good intentions and poor follow-through, but to be honest, as time goes by even I realize that may no longer be the case. What is wrong with him? Does he forget? How do you forget something like that?

I remember growing up with a single mom. My dad didn't forget my birthday, but I didn't get to spend very many of them with him. Mom used to say things like, "I try to be both a mother and a father to you." We all laughed when we heard George Carlin use the same line in his act, but a single parent really does have to play both roles. I'm not sure I was ever good at the dad-part, but once I got a Father's Day card from Sarah that said, "You are the top pop," and I'm saving that thing forever.

To Jump or Not To Jump

I had 3 days off from the store. I spent I spent one day working at the ranch, one day hanging around the house, and one day cutting firewood with John the Woodcutter (that's what he calls himself when he is talking to his wood clients).  After woodcutting, we met some friends for swimming over at Kelsey Creek, then we drove back to town, put on dry clothes and met those same friends for pizza and Konnection or Connection - not sure which, but it's like Wii and apparently I'm a pretty good faux bowler. Who knew?

We cut and delivered our wood in Happy Camp, which I may have mentioned before is one of my favorite places. Most of the shots I have of it are from the Winter; the trees look the same, only the temperature has changed... a lot. It was hot. Very. I used some of that spray sunscreen on us, the type that is waterproof, UVA/UVB proof, and sprayable from any angle. It worked, no sunburn, but it's weird on your hair. It could easily double as a super-sticky hairspray, if a Bad Hair Day is your aim.

When we met our friends for swimming, we were talked into jumping off a bridge into the creek. Okay, back in the day I would do anything for a dare. Anything. As we hiked up the bank to the bridge there was no doubt in my mind that I would jump. In fact, when John climbed over the rail and balked I said, "Honey, do you want me to go first?"  And I meant it. Then, he went over and I thought, hhmm that was a long fall. When I stepped over the railing, I didn't like the way I had to lean back toward the bridge - there was no ledge, something they probably did to discourage jumping. I stayed up for a few more minutes, talked to a few more jumpers (all male), then I walked back down to the beach. I'm no longer a kid, in fact I'm a grandma. I started a new job last week and I need to be in good shape. I no longer have to do something just because some yahoo (or my husband ;) ) tries to talk me into it. I felt pretty good.

Later, that night, John said something along the lines of he was disappointed that I did not jump, "Everyone should try it once in their lives."  I see. Okay, leaving behind a good job, my family, everything I'd built for 18 years, to move "back home" to be with him, then marry him a couple of months later obviously does not count as a "jump" or a risk for him. I'm not sure if I'm offended that he doesn't recognize the risk I took or pleased that he sees that all as a no-risk, sure it's going to work, proposition....

We Got Puppies!

Sis had her puppies yesterday. Here's what I've got so far....

They are 1/4 Trigg, 1/4 Plott, and 1/2 UKC Registered Leopard Hound pups.

My husband is selling them here. Would you believe he's sold two already? 

Mid-July

I'm not sure what else to title this one. I am tired and not feeling very creative, but it's been so long since I updated. I'm learning a new job at the store - I've been promoted to clerk - and while it's less physically taxing, there is a lot more to remember, so my brain is pooped. 

So far I love my new job. It deals more with the business of the store and a little less with the customer service part. I miss chatting with people while I bag their groceries, but I love the idea of having more responsibility. In the drug center, where I work, I will get to make orders, which might not seem like a big deal, but when I compare it with a few days ago, when people were still advising me on how to place groceries correctly in a bag (something that I was good at doing - nobody ever complained that I broke or squished anything) it's pretty big. In fact, tomorrow I am the sole drug center person for most if not all of the day. Woohoo! I hope I don't suck.

:)

My Husband the Woodcutter

My husband is away cutting wood in Happy Camp, California. His goal for this trip was 3 cords of Madrone for a client and then a cord and a half for his hunting partner. Have you ever dealt with green Madrone? It's very much like moving log-shaped boulders - heavy, dense, with a beautiful red color to it. We cut a load of it 2 weekends ago and over and over I thought, this Madrone sucks, it's too heavy, why do men love it so... and on and on, but I (mostly) kept a smile on my face, because I was outside, not working indoors and that's what I prefer, plus John is a good "boss." He never yells and we get pizza and beer when we are done.

My husband is all about the Madrone, but I prefer to deal with something a bit lighter like Fir or even better would be some of the Lodgepole that my in-laws have out at the back of their ranch. It's all stacked in a "deck," ready to be split with a borrowed splitter. This is the easiest possible wood practice - John cuts the lengths, I roll or carry them to the splitter where he sits on a log-stool and splits piece-by-piece as his dad runs the controls.  His dad is funny and whenever there's a break he makes jokes like, "The crack of dawn only lasts so long, but the crack of John lasts forever." My husband's pants are always falling down.

After the wood is split, we throw it into the back of a pickup. When there's enough in the pickup, John gets in and starts stacking it. He's very particular about the stacking and seems to distrust my stacking ability each time, until we get near the end and he says, "You are doing okay."  Doing okay is a compliment from John, as is "Pretty good for a town this size," when he finishes a meal. As I'm a person who is fairly confident in my abilities, I don't need a lot of compliments, but I do get prickly about having to prove myself over and over. I sometimes wonder if it is a test. Test this, you big dork... Okay, that was a joke...

John is a lot of fun to work with. He makes up jokes and songs and really enjoys the entire wood-getting process, even when it's the boulder-Madrone and he's splitting each piece by hand. He is very strong and I feel a certain sense of pride when I hear that crack! as the wood splits - my husband is like Superman, is what I think. I sure hope Superman comes home soon, because I've slept without him for 3 nights and just thinking about his lovely, freckled shoulders made me feel like crying this morning.

Constant Change

In the months since Max died, I've been going through a time of constant change. New jobs, new relationships, new homes, new friends, new hobbies - my life, as it exists today, is something I never could have predicted.

I'm lucky, because I have a lot of good choices available to me. I sift through the choices - some work out, others do not. I try to remain flexible and I've simplified things to a point where I can live with a lot less money coming in. Sometimes something seems like a good idea or I make a choice, because to pass it up seems stupid. For example, I left the market and went to work at the center because it meant twice as much money. I wanted to save my minivan. Unfortunately, I am unhappy working there and I still can't save my minivan. So, I'm giving it up. More changes to come....

John drove me to work 3 times before he decided I needed a new vehicle asap. Thanks to a loan from my in-laws, I am now the proud owner of a 1992 F-150 pickup truck. Perfect for my life as a....  Landscape. Ta-da! I love that work. AND I'm going back to the market part time, because I loved that job. Bagging groceries - who knew how fun it could be. Good exercise, too.

It is important to me that I am not just making money, but enjoying my work, because I've found that when I'm miserable, I'm not that much fun to live with. There's a good amount of truth to the saying, When Momma ain't happy, ain't nobody happy.  I'm the one who makes the home and it's important to me to make it a happy one. Family is my focus.

On that note, check out my handsome grandson, Gavin P, who came to stay with me last weekend. He's a charmer and a half.

Gavin and his big blue eyes.

Hometown Flashes

A friend pointed out that I haven't updated in a long time. I am only on the computer in bits and pieces anymore. I have to share with John and Sarah and neither is good at sharing.... but they are cute, so I keep them around.

Moving back home has been interesting in many ways. One of the aspects that interests me is seeing how people I grew up with or knew as a very young adult have grown up. My good friend, J, was here for a visit last weekend and we all went out to eat. I could see her scanning the room, looking for familiar faces. I do that, too. When I was working at the market a lot of people that I grew up with came through the lines. Sometimes I'd recognize them immediately, but many I'd think I know I've seen that face before, but....

Sadly, I'm a little vain, because when I see someone who looks older than I do, I think, YES! Can't believe I'm admitting to that on here...

This morning, I came around the corner and a guy that I hooked up with a time or two was sitting in a pickup, waiting to turn. I recognized him immediately. Weird flash from the past. I think I was about 19 or 20 when I knew him. He put my car stereo in for me and somehow it was really wrong.

My favorite flash is this one - I'm on the high school bus and a cute, freckled face boy gets on board, catches my eye and gives me a big smile. That handsome husband of mine - he's always had a beautiful smile and he's definitely my favorite flash from the past.