New Blog

Hello. After writing this morning, I decided to add a new blog that I am calling Finding Daily Balance... If  you would like to check it out and work on finding balance with me, you can do so here...

Finding Daily Balance

I will still be writing here.

Thanks!

Out of Balance

I believe that my purpose in life is to find balance. Balance in work. Balance in family. Balance in leisure.  It sounds simple, but it's not. I'm always thinking, always brainstorming ways to find more balance. Sometimes I find it for a temporary amount of time and it's pure bliss. The trick is to find out how to stretch that bliss, lengthen it, draw it out... but maybe that is selfish of me?  Can I be hoping for too much bliss?  Am I too bliss-centric?  See how my brain works?  It's a crazy place at times - I think too much. 

         An example of leisure.... Rode in a biking event with my friend, Angela... Check out that chin of mine...

Here are the areas that I need to work on:

*More money - not for extravagant things, but for necessities
*More time for family
*More order within my home

And I'd like to enjoy what I'm doing when I make the money. I enjoy my work at the store, but it frequently takes me completely out of my family. I work late a lot. John works early. When I get home, he's already asleep. Sometimes he wakes up and he tells me how poorly things played out between he and Sarah that evening. She is 13 and really into testing her new stepdad. I feel guilty that the bulk of the parenting is falling to him lately.

John and I have different parenting styles. He focuses on chores. I focus on growth. He wants things done. I want them done smoothly. He thinks his way is right. I think my way is right. I don't know how he would have handled the years when my oldest daughter was so out-of-control.  There was no talking sense with her. It was maddening and I can remember thinking that I would be alone forever because no man could take that on. Okay, so John came along after that time.... now we've got a new teenager to figure out.... it's always something and it's all about.... growth. :) See, I am right! 

I am thinking about a career change. I look at the schedule every week and I see that very few people are getting enough hours to live on and for some reason, new people are continually hired. Hey, I'd take a few courtesy clerk spots - I have no problem with that work. I find retail hard to figure out. Many aspects appear counter-productive to me, but that's just the way they do them.  The work force is determined by the money made previously. So, if there is a period of slower sales, then fewer people are scheduled, but if there are not enough people scheduled, things go a bit chaotic and we can potentially lose customers.

An example would be the milk. A dairy clerk is scheduled, but he is constantly called up front, away from the milk, because there are more than 2 people in a line and the people up front start bugging out. When the milk clerk is gone, people continue to pull dairy goods off the shelf, which means the shelves empty. Where is all the yogurt?  I can't find my favorite creamer! Ack!!  Let the dairy clerk do their thing. Have an extra clerk up front - maybe they could be a combo courtesy clerk/checker - I've done that before and it worked well. I was available to get people out for their breaks, etc.

Okay, enough retail talk. I've been thinking a lot about sewing. I've got a machine. Just wish I could remember how to thread the bobbin.... more on this later.  I spent last night looking at places like this. If you know of a good sewing blog, please recommend it in the comments.

Hey, do you know anyone who could use a puppy?  Not this one, because we are keeping her, but one equally as cute...

Father & Mother

Yesterday was Bay's birthday. She is now 19. It is the first time we have not spent her birthday together. I guess that's how it goes when your kids grow up and become mommies and you move away and get married to your best pal.

Bay wrote something on her Facebook wall about her stepdad remembering her birthday and her father forgetting. That man continues to be a disappointment to our children. I usually say he has good intentions and poor follow-through, but to be honest, as time goes by even I realize that may no longer be the case. What is wrong with him? Does he forget? How do you forget something like that?

I remember growing up with a single mom. My dad didn't forget my birthday, but I didn't get to spend very many of them with him. Mom used to say things like, "I try to be both a mother and a father to you." We all laughed when we heard George Carlin use the same line in his act, but a single parent really does have to play both roles. I'm not sure I was ever good at the dad-part, but once I got a Father's Day card from Sarah that said, "You are the top pop," and I'm saving that thing forever.

To Jump or Not To Jump

I had 3 days off from the store. I spent I spent one day working at the ranch, one day hanging around the house, and one day cutting firewood with John the Woodcutter (that's what he calls himself when he is talking to his wood clients).  After woodcutting, we met some friends for swimming over at Kelsey Creek, then we drove back to town, put on dry clothes and met those same friends for pizza and Konnection or Connection - not sure which, but it's like Wii and apparently I'm a pretty good faux bowler. Who knew?

We cut and delivered our wood in Happy Camp, which I may have mentioned before is one of my favorite places. Most of the shots I have of it are from the Winter; the trees look the same, only the temperature has changed... a lot. It was hot. Very. I used some of that spray sunscreen on us, the type that is waterproof, UVA/UVB proof, and sprayable from any angle. It worked, no sunburn, but it's weird on your hair. It could easily double as a super-sticky hairspray, if a Bad Hair Day is your aim.

When we met our friends for swimming, we were talked into jumping off a bridge into the creek. Okay, back in the day I would do anything for a dare. Anything. As we hiked up the bank to the bridge there was no doubt in my mind that I would jump. In fact, when John climbed over the rail and balked I said, "Honey, do you want me to go first?"  And I meant it. Then, he went over and I thought, hhmm that was a long fall. When I stepped over the railing, I didn't like the way I had to lean back toward the bridge - there was no ledge, something they probably did to discourage jumping. I stayed up for a few more minutes, talked to a few more jumpers (all male), then I walked back down to the beach. I'm no longer a kid, in fact I'm a grandma. I started a new job last week and I need to be in good shape. I no longer have to do something just because some yahoo (or my husband ;) ) tries to talk me into it. I felt pretty good.

Later, that night, John said something along the lines of he was disappointed that I did not jump, "Everyone should try it once in their lives."  I see. Okay, leaving behind a good job, my family, everything I'd built for 18 years, to move "back home" to be with him, then marry him a couple of months later obviously does not count as a "jump" or a risk for him. I'm not sure if I'm offended that he doesn't recognize the risk I took or pleased that he sees that all as a no-risk, sure it's going to work, proposition....

We Got Puppies!

Sis had her puppies yesterday. Here's what I've got so far....

They are 1/4 Trigg, 1/4 Plott, and 1/2 UKC Registered Leopard Hound pups.

My husband is selling them here. Would you believe he's sold two already? 

Mid-July

I'm not sure what else to title this one. I am tired and not feeling very creative, but it's been so long since I updated. I'm learning a new job at the store - I've been promoted to clerk - and while it's less physically taxing, there is a lot more to remember, so my brain is pooped. 

So far I love my new job. It deals more with the business of the store and a little less with the customer service part. I miss chatting with people while I bag their groceries, but I love the idea of having more responsibility. In the drug center, where I work, I will get to make orders, which might not seem like a big deal, but when I compare it with a few days ago, when people were still advising me on how to place groceries correctly in a bag (something that I was good at doing - nobody ever complained that I broke or squished anything) it's pretty big. In fact, tomorrow I am the sole drug center person for most if not all of the day. Woohoo! I hope I don't suck.

:)

My Husband the Woodcutter

My husband is away cutting wood in Happy Camp, California. His goal for this trip was 3 cords of Madrone for a client and then a cord and a half for his hunting partner. Have you ever dealt with green Madrone? It's very much like moving log-shaped boulders - heavy, dense, with a beautiful red color to it. We cut a load of it 2 weekends ago and over and over I thought, this Madrone sucks, it's too heavy, why do men love it so... and on and on, but I (mostly) kept a smile on my face, because I was outside, not working indoors and that's what I prefer, plus John is a good "boss." He never yells and we get pizza and beer when we are done.

My husband is all about the Madrone, but I prefer to deal with something a bit lighter like Fir or even better would be some of the Lodgepole that my in-laws have out at the back of their ranch. It's all stacked in a "deck," ready to be split with a borrowed splitter. This is the easiest possible wood practice - John cuts the lengths, I roll or carry them to the splitter where he sits on a log-stool and splits piece-by-piece as his dad runs the controls.  His dad is funny and whenever there's a break he makes jokes like, "The crack of dawn only lasts so long, but the crack of John lasts forever." My husband's pants are always falling down.

After the wood is split, we throw it into the back of a pickup. When there's enough in the pickup, John gets in and starts stacking it. He's very particular about the stacking and seems to distrust my stacking ability each time, until we get near the end and he says, "You are doing okay."  Doing okay is a compliment from John, as is "Pretty good for a town this size," when he finishes a meal. As I'm a person who is fairly confident in my abilities, I don't need a lot of compliments, but I do get prickly about having to prove myself over and over. I sometimes wonder if it is a test. Test this, you big dork... Okay, that was a joke...

John is a lot of fun to work with. He makes up jokes and songs and really enjoys the entire wood-getting process, even when it's the boulder-Madrone and he's splitting each piece by hand. He is very strong and I feel a certain sense of pride when I hear that crack! as the wood splits - my husband is like Superman, is what I think. I sure hope Superman comes home soon, because I've slept without him for 3 nights and just thinking about his lovely, freckled shoulders made me feel like crying this morning.