Day 2 of the Tourney

This is the last weekend for Sarah's basketball season. They are on day 2 of their end of the season tournament - so far undefeated this season. Basketball has been a bit different this year. I've noticed that Sarah is really changing with adolescence. Sometimes her mind is just someplace else. I forgot how hard that is, the trying to keep your mind on one thing when it really wants to wander out the door, into the sunshine to daydream about boys......or puppies, at this age it could be either.

When she's done, I think we are going to find something else to do on weekends. We haven't hiked in so long. Maybe she and I can hike or go on a bike ride. She might enjoy taking the cameras out together, like Bay and I love to do. I will follow her lead. I don't want to push sports on her, because they are what I enjoy, if she'd rather do something else (something that does not involve just sitting on the computer watching Mr. Saftety videos for hours on end).

I lost one of my jobs this weeks. I knew it was coming - they let everyone go, but it's still been hard to wrap my mind around it. The loss of income sucks. I'm working on a couple of other projects, plus still writing Beauty & Fashion at Gadabout Media.com, but the structure, the daily deadline is gone and I didn't realize how much I depended on it. I have to "boss" myself now. I hope I do a good job, I need to do a good job, but I won't get fired this time.

I've learned that writing is like this - the jobs come and the jobs go. I have a problem with change and the lack of permanence. I like to know what is coming, I like structure and being able to budget my money accurately. I like the stability of working for someone else. I have to let go of that. I have to learn the business of blogging for real now. I have to learn how to write a marketing plan and to hustle sponsors and ads. I can do it, but right now, sitting here thinking about the end of the basketball season, I want to put it all away, up on the shelf, for one more day.

Watch Kitty & I Got A Wake Up Call

Yesterday, I woke up after a long night of rain. The flower beds right outside my bedroom window were totally flooded. No birds for Kitty to see - she takes her bird watching very seriously, as you can see by her intense gaze and posture here. My bed is right under the window, so if Kitty thinks I've slept too long, she tries to pull the blind up on her own. So, I open it a bit and she lets me pet her for a few minutes, but only if I pet her on the back half of her back. Get near her face and she nips at you.

Last night, Max was sick and Kitty was like his watch-cat. She would meow if he choked and call me in to his room. When I got there, she'd be pacing on the floor, near the foot of his bed. She's never done that before. She must have sensed something. Smart girl. I had to suction him quite a few times, poor kid. Sarah slept through it all.

This weekend, today being the last day of it, was a weird weekend. I woke on Friday with an idea of how I'd like to see my life play out, I had a plan and I really wanted to figure out how to make it work. I wanted to compromise and be open to possibilities. I was pretty excited, because I thought hey, this could work! By Sunday, that idea was completely gone.

**I edited a big portion out of this post. The point is I'm going to do things differently from now on.